Adventure Boots

This is the (unfinished) piece I made for my husband for Christmas. I call it 'Matt & his adventure boots'. Long story about the whole adventure boot deal. Let's just say my son found some boots that Matt hadn't worn in a while & he ran around the house in them yelling "Look at me! I'm Matt in my adventure boots!" The fact that my son was only in his boxer briefs (I have no idea why) was the cherry on top. So I sat there laughing at my son who looks a lot like his dad & a story idea popped into my head about a boy and his 'adventure boots'. And I thought of my husband and exactly how much of our life has been an adventure - some good, some not so good. But through it all we have trudged forward - boots worn & dirty, but still going.

This year I'll be hitting the big 40 - actually in 16 days to be exact. I really didn't think it would bother me as much as it is. And let's be clear on this, I'm not caught up on the fact that I'm getting grey hair or that the wrinkles seem to be multiplying daily on my face. No, what bothers me is knowing that I'm not living the life I should be living. I just can't accept that I was born to be a bookkeeper. Now please don't get me wrong - it's a respectable profession and people love and thrive in it. I was one of those people for a very long time. But, I feel I have out-grown the profession - it no longer fits me. I have been on a journey to live creatively - to give myself permission to create - even though I don't know what I'm doing half the time. The further I walk down this path of creativity, the harder it is for me to walk the path of a bookkeeper. It's a constant diversion. It started out that the creativity was the side path, but now I feel the bookkeeping has taken that place.

I want the adventure of living creatively. It's a challenge to me. It's a struggle. It makes me feel alive. I could settle for the easy life and continue my bookkeeping business - it's something I'm good at - that comes easily and naturally for me. But I feel like a zombie going through the motions - requiring not much thought on my part. How long can I keep doing this? How much more of my precious life will I give to this career? Give me the 'adventure boots'.......do they come in pink?