p.s......adam lied

Eve is done. I look at her and I'm not sure how I feel about her. With my current state of mind, I look at this piece and feel as if I'm being strangled. It gives me feelings of being caught, trapped, tied down.

But she is done and for better or worse I will submit it to a local gallery for their June show. Fingers crossed. I do have to varnish the heck out of it. Did the first two layers - which did not go well at all. Some of the fabric is bubbling and I don't like the varnish I'm using. It's still Liquitex, but a gloss medium & varnish - not the high gloss that Alma recommends. My bad. What can I do, what's done is done & I can't undo it - must go forward. Just like my life.

Progress

So it's been a couple weeks since my last blog, but I've had a youth retreat to chaperon and a cold that dragged me down into an abyss of mucus from which I am only just emerging. I feel I must have hacked up at least half a lung by now & have coughed so hard I could have given birth....to twins! I personally think it was the youth retreat that did me in. Obviously a 40 year old has no business scaling rock walls, harnessing up to a 60 foot swing, rolling in dirt under patios and staying up way past my bed time. I no longer have the magic elixir called youth to keep me healthy.

Enough of my drama - on to art. I am excited to say my woman is starting to find her way. I am currently having a passion for purple and have been using it a lot. So it went without saying that the background would be purple. Plus I found a line of fabrics that I just had to have and bought specifically for this piece. I'm sure the photo does not do them justice. Purples and greens predominate the fabric.
So I don't want any comments on the woman's freaky legs. Yes, I know they look alienish. Or perhaps she is related to a satyr. Here's the deal....The line drawing was all open - not really meant to be "colored" in. This presented a problem. So I thought I'd try to cover it all up with flowers - like Eve walking through the garden of Eden. So for the past two days I have worked on drawing a ton of flowers and big over sized leaves. Just didn't feel right - wasn't working for me. I drew a really big flower on her thigh & started drawing a vine up her body. That's when I knew I found the right fit. So I have a vine wrapping around her body with some strategically placed flowers - I really love the flower design I found. Big and juicy. I erased all the other work I had done. And I didn't even get upset. It didn't matter that I was erasing 4 hours worth of work - I knew it was all just part of the process & had I not drawn everything I had I may not have stumbled onto the vine and flower idea. I'm really loving life right now - really feel I am moving in the right direction.

Female Figure

Here is my latest project - biggest attempted (4' by 2'). Took playing around all day yesterday. Had to tape two pieces of freezer paper together to get a piece of paper big enough to cover the wood. I had an idea of the pose I wanted to use. I couldn't find anything similar in any of my drawing books so I decided I'd just take a self portrait in the desired pose - much to the horror of my soon to be 13 year old son (I was in a bikini, but was informed I should only wear one pieces - ouch! If you are ever looking for an honest answer ask a 13 year old boy!). Well, after much frustration yesterday trying to draw the pose out on this 4ft. piece of paper I decided to sleep on it. I had what I thought was an o.k. sketch. Upon waking I realized it was all rubbish and erased everything and started from scratch. I decided to go with a very simplistic line figure from one of my books. Tried to show the process of my work. 1) Draw it out on paper. 2) covered the wood with a ton of carbon paper (scored from a goodwill stored) and then trace the drawing through to the wood. 3) Use a wood burner to burn all the lines. So there! Viola! I am now officially stumpted as what to do next!! Paint? Fabric? Collage? Totally clueless!

Flower Power

Here is the latest Telamadera Fusion piece I've created. A bit on the cute side I know, but it is done none the less. I was inpired by a pattern I have on a note book & wanted to see if I could convert it into paint & fabric. Pretty much yes. Made lots of mistakes from not paying attention, but I suppose that's how we learn. I've been a bit more careful on my new piece I'm working on.

Life has been a bit wonky lately - got a bit derailed - but thanks to some wonderful people I am now back on track and chugging along. I will be the Little Engine that could - "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I know I can. I know I can. I know I can."

Down The Rabbit Hole

This is my most talented friend Sharon Cotton - check out her work at www.sharoncotton.com. She just had her first gallery show this past January - very exciting to see her work up on gallery walls. What was even more exciting was receiving my very own, custom-made just for me, art work for my 40th birthday. That she choose Alice as her subject matter was the cherry on top of my 40th birthday. Alice in Wonderland is quite simply put my favorite story. I have long related to Alice and her fall down the rabbit hole. And considering the family in which I grew up I can certainly relate to being surrounded by people & things that do not make sense. My experience was that it was an often confusing, frustrating and even at times scary journey that I was on - trying to navigate my way through my youth and family. Some of my Christmases could make the Mad Hatter's tea party look quite sane. I do feel that I am emerging from the underground - creating sanity and serenity in my world and more easily recognizing the insanity - I smile and send it on it's way - "Very nice to meet you Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Would love to stay & chat, but I simply must be getting on - I have a very important date, you know."

I was blown away when I opened my painting & there was Alice - falling. And I love what Sharon wrote for me. "Down. Down. Down. Shall I ever reach the end? Alice knew that approaching 40 had been a perilous journey. But she also knew that getting there would be the beginning. And a most agreeable time. She was going to grab life with both hands and wring every last drop out of it. She had heard, at a tea party once upon a time, that life begins at 40. What a wonderful thought. And more than anything else, she hoped there would be cats, she loved cats, especially smiling ones."

So thank you my friend for creating this priceless work of art for me - and for being my only blog reader! I will cherish this always & take what you wrote to heart.

So, I must dash now & go grab life by both hands now - evidently I have a lot of wringing to do if I am to get EVERY last drop out of it!

Keeping Buzzy

So this is my latest creation using Telamadera Fusion. It's a gift for my friend who celebrated a 40th birthday.....on January 27th. I don't need it pointed out that this is February 10th and that it will be February 17th by the time I have all the varnish layers done & ready to ship it out to her. I KNOW this. I was waiting for my muse to come and she did - around January 29th! I decided on a Queen Bee theme as my friend has taken up bee keeping and now has hives and makes her own honey - delicious stuff - have tried it myself. Perhaps this piece is a bit simple and sweet, but was made with her in mind. OK - that came out so wrong - my friend is not simple & sweet - quite the contrary - always keeping everyone on their toes with what she will do next - hosting her own 'funeral' for her fortieth & picking up friends in a hearse for a photo shoot & dinner is just an example of what she can pull out of her hat.

This piece was harder than the one I did in Alma's workshop.......because I didn't have Alma sitting there guiding me!! I tried to remember everything she taught me. It was challenging to take it one section at a time - I kept wanting to jump ahead. And then when it was time to pick out the fabric I started grabbing too many at a time & overwhelmed myself. So then I pulled it back. It all worked out. I'm particularly pleased with the way the stenciled background worked out. I used Alma's trick of using a piece of lace card stock paper as a stencil - a heck of a lot cheaper than an actual stencil.

Now I'm on to my first NON GIFT piece! Got all the wood burning done of the design and have painted it all today. Now the tricky part....fabric selection.....

I was recently at a gallery show this past Friday - chatting with a local artist. The person asked what I do - I tried to explain the process. The person paused and said - "Sounds simple." It was a bit of a slap, but I quickly came back with "Yeah, I suppose it is....except for creating a design, choosing the colors and choosing the fabrics." But of course the comment stayed in my head until the next morning when I finally had to dump it in my God box and let Him have it! I like what I'm doing. It feels good to me. I will continue.

Alma's Workshop

My Christmas arrived a little late this year - January 9th to be exact. The day I took a workshop with Alma de la Melena Cox! Please check out her website at www.almaart.com. Here is the short story of how I found Alma (is anything ever short with me? Grab a cup of coffee and get comfy.) In 2007 we were vacationing in Bend, Oregon. I was browsing a local publication listing all the things to do in the area - activities, shops, galleries etc. So there is a picture of this beautiful work of art - a curvaceous woman with flowing hair and color bits everywhere (not doing the piece justice at all). I cut it out and stuck it in my inspiration journal noting the artist....Alma de la Melena Cox. Fast forward to October of 2009 and my daughter, husband and I are wondering through the 'vendor' night of Art & Soul (never been - amazing - picture me with gaping mouth, drool coming out etc.). So there we are and my daughter pulls my arm and points to a corner and says "Mom, I think you have that piece in your art journal." I look, and to my amazement she's right. There, in person, right in front of me is Alma and all her beautiful work.

I am star struck. I muster the courage to meet her - I just couldn't let myself walk away without doing so. It was a moving moment for me - I'm sure a creepy one for her! I get choked up easily! The day happened to be my 17th wedding anniversary & I felt it was such a gift to get to meet this artist. I see that she is going to have a book coming out soon so I take her card so I won't forget to get the book. If I were clever at blogging I'd have an image of the book, but I'm not so I'll just give the name "COLLAGE FUSION vibrant wood & fabric art using Telamadera Techniques". If you are looking for a new way to use fabric then you MUST have this book.

More time passes. I think I find the book in November in Barnes & Noble - literally squealed with delight to find it & did a little happy dance right there on the spot. I drool over the images in the book.

More time passes. One down and out day, frustrated with life, I remember I have been meaning to find Alma's website. So I do. From there I link into her blog and what should I find there (besides beautiful poetry & images)? Right there in front of my eyes is a posting that Alma will be hosting an all day workshop at her HOME in Sisters, Oregon. I knew immediately that I had to go. I emailed her right there and then & got myself signed up.

Now, knowing me, you should realize I then spent the next month in worry of NOT making it to this workshop. I worried that the weather would keep me from going, that she would cancel it, that the earth would open up and shallow me whole just to keep me from going to this workshop. I simply could not envision anything so good happening to me. I could not imagine that I would get to be with this artist in her HOME for 8 whole hours, learning from her - and eating with her as she also provided lunch!!

But the day did arrive & despite a bit of a dodgy drive through some snow to get there I did make it! And what can I say other than the day was FANTASTIC! Even though her book is clearly written, I am just the kind of person that needs the one on one teaching - hold my hand and walk me through the process. The workshop taught me the process behind the process. What I needed to know was all the thinking that goes into a piece. To me that was invaluable knowledge.

I am the kind of person that wants something done before I've even started it. I have a plan in my head - I spend so much time planning it all out in my head that I forget to actually start or finish a project! Ah, if I could only download my thinking onto a canvas... I was so grateful to learn to just start! You do need a design (thankfully she provided one or I could have been there the whole weekend), but after that you just start. I wanted to grab all my paint and fabric at once - having it all standing by ready to use. No, that's not the way we did it. It was a section at a time. Focusing on one part of the design at a time. Alma encouraged me to trust my gut in my color selections - don't worry about the next step of fabric because we weren't there yet - that would all work out when we got there! Man, that was hard for me to do. Trust my gut??? Patience?? Hello!! She didn't know who she was dealing with!! But I did as she told me. I was so eager to move onto the fabric part & so worried about that selection process that I think she finally caved in & let me go grab some fabric to put by me. Like a security blanket. Here's the funny thing - I didn't use a single bit of the fabric I originally picked out. In fact, my whole piece looked NOTHING like I had planned out in my head!! And you want to know s0mething - it turned out better than I had imagined.

It was such a life lesson. Focus on one part at a time - what is in front of me. Trust that I am making the right choice - and have faith that the what I need for the next part will be there when needed. I know I was meant to be at that workshop & I know that was the message I was suppose to hear. Thank you Alma!

Adventure Boots

This is the (unfinished) piece I made for my husband for Christmas. I call it 'Matt & his adventure boots'. Long story about the whole adventure boot deal. Let's just say my son found some boots that Matt hadn't worn in a while & he ran around the house in them yelling "Look at me! I'm Matt in my adventure boots!" The fact that my son was only in his boxer briefs (I have no idea why) was the cherry on top. So I sat there laughing at my son who looks a lot like his dad & a story idea popped into my head about a boy and his 'adventure boots'. And I thought of my husband and exactly how much of our life has been an adventure - some good, some not so good. But through it all we have trudged forward - boots worn & dirty, but still going.

This year I'll be hitting the big 40 - actually in 16 days to be exact. I really didn't think it would bother me as much as it is. And let's be clear on this, I'm not caught up on the fact that I'm getting grey hair or that the wrinkles seem to be multiplying daily on my face. No, what bothers me is knowing that I'm not living the life I should be living. I just can't accept that I was born to be a bookkeeper. Now please don't get me wrong - it's a respectable profession and people love and thrive in it. I was one of those people for a very long time. But, I feel I have out-grown the profession - it no longer fits me. I have been on a journey to live creatively - to give myself permission to create - even though I don't know what I'm doing half the time. The further I walk down this path of creativity, the harder it is for me to walk the path of a bookkeeper. It's a constant diversion. It started out that the creativity was the side path, but now I feel the bookkeeping has taken that place.

I want the adventure of living creatively. It's a challenge to me. It's a struggle. It makes me feel alive. I could settle for the easy life and continue my bookkeeping business - it's something I'm good at - that comes easily and naturally for me. But I feel like a zombie going through the motions - requiring not much thought on my part. How long can I keep doing this? How much more of my precious life will I give to this career? Give me the 'adventure boots'.......do they come in pink?